The signs weren't good. Orange Wednesday at Nottingham Cineworld at peak time and only two other people were with me in screen 6.
Less than ten minutes after the start of Naachle London, I was on my own. The two had walked out.
Clearly Neville Raschid's much publicised 'BollyBrit' movie had not lured the crowds (quite often Bollywood films are sold out on Wednesdays).
And it wasn't long before it was clear why.
Frankly, this lacks badly in the production values which Bollywood is all about.
Thus, the dance numbers are lame, the characters lack style and, worst of all, at least at my screening, the dialogue wasn't in synch with the actors' lips.
Naachle London is a Hindi film with an entirely British cast, made in this country.
But one of the most surprising parts of the film was how little English is spoken in it compared even to Bollywood films. For example, even when talking to the police the characters spoke in Hindi.
But even more bizarre was that when they did speak in English it was so horribly wooden, as if they were using a completely foreign tongue.
The premise of the film surrounds a group of children training for a dance competition at the London Mela, a huge annual festival.
The winner of the contest is due to get a role in an upcoming Bollywood movie.
Among the kids is Krishna (Alyssa Sharma), the daughter of a poor widower (Raj Ghatak) (although if he is so poor, how come he is driving around in very new-looking VW Beetle convertible?).
Anyway, he is being pursued by loan sharks and needs her to win the film contract, which is £100,000.
She is up against the two children of a glamorous divorcee (Sofia Hayat) and the son of two rich pushy parents.
Thus, while the kids are strutting their stuff, the widower and the divorcee fall for each other.
Inevitably, even in Bolly Lite, her dad isn't keen on the match.
I can't complain too much about the plot other than to say it is straight from a Bollywood storyline template but moved to London.
I also recognised that this was a very low budget movie.
But I couldn't understand that a BollyBrit film didn't play to its strengths, namely it's Britishness.
London is the backdrop for two upcoming Bollywood movies, London Paris New York and 7 Welcome To London, and I can' imagine either of them will make our capital appear so lame.
On the plus side, it's key song Naachle London, is very catchy (I'm still humming it this morning).
Laughs: one snigger
Jumps: none
Vomit: one scene (although, thankfully vomit not seen)
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 3/10
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