So, the poster reckons that John Carpenter proves he is the master of shock with The Ward.
To say I wasn't shocked during the whole film is an understatement.
Actually, during its entire 88 minutes, I was not even remotely surprised.
I missed this movie when it came out in January and its DVD release has been put back, so it was Virgin TV On Demand which satisfied my need to tick it off.
To be totally fair, I might have required the jumpometer if I had seen it had the big screen but it didn't translate to our 32-inch screen, that's for sure.
On the other hand, it really is like a collection of every horror movie cliche from the last 30 years.
Yesterday, I did my five points which must be included in a Bollywood romance.
Today, it's my guide to a teen horror movie.
1. All of the girls have to be very attractive.
2. There has to be a very creepy building.
3. Lights must go out unexpectedly, causing people to be scared of the dark.
4. The villain must speak with an English accent.
5. One of the shocks must involve a mirror
6. There must be plenty of chases.
7. Someone has to die by being stabbed or spread through the eye.
And The Ward ticks all seven!
Amber Heard is the pretty girl who is locked up in a creepy mental hospital (or asylum as it would have been when the film was set, in 1966).
Her fellow patients are all attractive teenage girls (you never see a make-up bag or hair straighteners but they must be around somewhere and there is the inevitable gratuitous shower scene).
Dear Amber seems to have no idea why she is incarcerated but is mighty determined to escape.
However, the main thing standing in her way is the zombie ghost of a previous patient.
I would like to say the whole film is ludicrous but that would make it sound at least a bit interesting.
It's not...it's even more dull that Pirates of The Caribbean 4.
So, it gets a feeble 3/10
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