When everyfilm was going through its publicity blast a couple of months ago, I was asked several times whether I had either walked out of a movie or fallen asleep.
I have never given up on a film but I have certainly had more than a few micro-sleeps.
Someone told me that Barry Norman once said it wasn't his fault when he dropped off, it was the film's director.
Thus, I'm going to blame Adem Kilic for my slumber at Wood Green Cineworld this afternoon.
Although, to be fair to him, while I failed to crack a smile or even keep awake, there were a few guffaws from the handful of people in the audience.
I am afraid, however, that I need more than the lead actor (Alper Kul) going crosseyed every now and then to float my boat.
Kul plays Temel, a poor dreamer who is obsessed with marrying his school crush, Zuhal (Aslihan Guner).
The only problem is that he hasn't got two lira to rub together and she is the daughter of a billionaire.
Undaunted, and supported by his equally daft brother and mates, he goes in search of his sweetheart.
In the meantime, he is mocked by his preacher father (Salih Kalyon) who is apparently more of a fan of the local footy team, Trabzonspor, than he is of God.
By the way, I am intrigued of how the Turks follow Islam compared with more devout nations.
The women hardly ever seem to cover their hair and the blokes seem happy to drink alcohol. Also, everyone seems to have access to guns.
Certainly, Temel's woe with his weapon is often the butt of jokes or at the centre of the storyline here.
Anyway, it all becomes stunningly predictable and didn't have the wit to keep me entertained.
I feared I might be alone in this analysis until I just saw its mark on internet movie database. It says 4.5/10. I reckon that is a mark too many.
Laughs: none for me...tittering elsewhere in the crowd.
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 3.5/10
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