I have just arrived home after a day in London. My first action was to take off my jacket. This led Mrs W to point out that my V-neck jumper was back to front.
In a nutshell, I will never be the target of Bill Cunningham's eagle eye.
Why? Because Cunningham is recognised as one of the greatest fashion photographers in the world.
Richard Press's documentary about the New York Times lensman is a fitting tribute.
Cunningham, it would appear, is not just a highly talented photographer but he must also rank as one of the hardest working journalists on the planet (I write that as someone who has watched six movies and been on a 300-mile round-trip for my art).
Cunningham has forsaken romance (he says he has never had a romantic relationship) and even a proper home (he lives in a box room in Carnegie Hall - his shower is at the end of the corridor).
He takes the vast majority of his pictures on the streets of New York where he snaps ordinary people wearing extraordinary clothes.
And once he is finished on his daytime work, he goes to charity functions in the evening to capture social diary shots.
And whatever the event and whatever the weather, he cycles.
Did I mention that he is 82? The film does not reveal that but I've just looked it up on wiki, although it doesn't give a precise birth date.
Cunningham is known for being very kind to his subjects, although many know he could have used indelicate photographs.
His attitude towards people and life is overwhelmingly positive and that is probably why Press's film treats him with kid gloves.
Even when he asks Cunningham a tricky question, he prefaces it by saying: "you don't have to answer.''
As it happens, Cunningham does and within what he has to say is a clear picture of a modest man who even utters a bit of gentle self-mockery over the lengths he will go to for his work.
Indeed, his manner is what makes this movie. He is so overwhelmingly wrapped in the world of fashion and how to grab its images that it is impossible not to be dragged along with him.
The movie contains interviews with many of his contemporaries about his past and present and those who have benefited from his work, including Vogue editor Anna Wintour.
It also follows him around as he takes snaps and then works of the lay-out of his pages in the New York Times.
It is a revealing documentary about a truly amazing man. I, as a newspaper hack of 28 years, loved it. But I reckon anyone who is into fashion would too.
Laughs: a couple of sniggers
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: Nope
Overall rating: 8/10
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