I guess I'm just not the right demographic (not a teenager) but I found the latest Ghost Rider not only charmless but terrifically dull.
On top of that I was brassed off because the 3D was not only lame but there wasn't even a 2D alternative.
Indeed, I was so disengaged I can think of very little to write.
What I will say is that I am utterly bored of watching Nicolas Cage do that demented toothy laugh in every role he plays.
For those who haven't kep up with the Ghost Rider franchise, Cage plays Johnny Blaze who has man a deal with the devil to save his dad.
It means that he takes on a demonic form when he gets wound up. You could compare him to the Hulk but instead of getting all muscle-bound and green, he turns into a skeleton who is on fire.
I'm sure I've missed something along the way because Johnny uses his flaming breath on bad guys. This hardly seems the devil's work, does it?
Anyway, another deal is done in the movie because he is offered the chance of returning to his former self if he rescues a special boy who turns out to be the devil's son.
Just writing it, is making me so annoyed I want to spit fire myself.
Anyway, the chase goes on and Cage moves from manically smiling human to a bony fireball with more regularity than a teenage girl's moodswings.
This results in the boy being rescued and then snatched away again equally as often.
The special effects aren't bad but are very similar to Ghost Rider 1 and add to the sense that the whole thing is a bit pointless.
Cage is supported by Ciaran Hinds and Idris Elba but none of them move out of second gear.
It amounts to 95 minutes I am never going to get back.
Laughs: none
Jumps: one-ish
Vomit: none
Nudity: none
Overall rating: 3/10
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