I don't think I will ever be able to see a Clive Owen film without a pang of disappointment.
Clive, you see, comes from my home town, Coventry. And the wealthier he gets the more I hope that he suddenly might like to spread a bit of his cash towards my ailing football team.
To be fair, he has never been a fan of the Sky Blues but the fact that I cling on to such a hope, proves how desperate we have become.
Anyway, football has absolutely nothing to do with two parallel tales of the bogeyman trying to steal the faces of two children in two different countries.
As nightmares go, this is one which would probably make anyone think twice about closing their eyes ever again.
But, we shouldn't worry because Clive is going to save the day (I wish he had the same attitude about Coventry City..).
He plays the dad of a bright 12-year-old Mia (Ella Purnell) who, at a family picnic climbs a tree and finds a box containing a ghost story. The bad news is that the opening of the box does the equivalent of letting the genie out of the lamp.
From that moment on, her life is in peril because of a being she calls Hollowface.
At the same time, in Spain, a little boy called Juan (Izan Corchero) is suffering the same nightmares.
Every time darkness falls, a monster calls on him and his mum (Pilar Lopez De Ayala).
But what are the connections between the two stories?
Intruders is a pretty basic bump-in-the-night sort of story. Yes, there is a bit of a psychological element to it but the only scenes worth the entrance fee are those where the bogeyman is trying to snatch a kid.
The jumpometer was required three times so it wasn't terrible but I just think there are so many better films to see at the minute than Juan Carlos Fresnadillo's (did I mention that quite a bit of it is in Spanish with English subtitles?).
Laughs: none
Jumps: three
Vomit: none
Nudity: one completely gratuitous scene involving Owen's screen wife Carice Van Houten
Overall rating: 5.5/10
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