And this afternoon's quiz question is. Does a real life U certificate movie have to be smothered in cheese?
I ask this after Mrs W and I made an 80-mile round trip to Chesterfield to see Prom.
Yes, you read it correctly. And it feels like an awful long way to have gone to watch the most predictable film of the year so far.
Let's be clear, while writing this I am trying to put myself into the head of a teenage girl.
And before you get the wrong idea, I have lived in the same house as one for the past five years.
I can tell you that she (my daughter, that is) would have run a mile from the gooiness that director Joe Nussbaum has turfed up here.
Indeed, she's not even going to her school prom! So much for it being the most important night of your teenage life.
The idea behind this Disney schmaltz is that goody two-shoes Nova (Aimee Teegarden) is organising the prom night to beat all prom nights so everyone can have a super special last day and that love may also flicker for her.
As in every film ever made about prom night, there are hopes of dates, broken promises and ultimately love, even for the most unlikely.
Along the way relationships are inevitably stretched to breaking point and some even dissolve.
Oh, I forgot Miss Clean always falls for the school bad boy who is not nearly as much of a tough nut as he is painted.
At least ten times, Mrs W and I turned to each other and pulled what are our now accepted faces (we never talk during a movie) for "this is so corny.''
Actually, we went further than that and simultaneously yawned at one point.
When she started to decry Prom as we walked out, I told her the rule that I invented during Diary of A Wimpy Kid 2.
In other words: "You have to put yourself in the mindset of the kids who were being targeted by the film-makers.''
She rightly made the point that even if she was 14 years old she would have been bored by a storyline which just looked like it was put together after watching an afternoon of Nickelodeon.
In other words, Prom had very few redeeming features and deserves the 3.5/10 which we jointly rated it.
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