Honestly, how can you gather such a fine cast and create a movie that is so utterly lame?
James Franco, Natalie Portman, Toby Jones, Zooey Deschanel and Damian Lewis are among my favourite modern-day actors, yet all of them were dog-awful in this mirthless mess.
If any of them read this I would love them to say what was going through their minds when they said yes to such a cretinous script.
In fact, they should have just watched a video of the truly terrible Pineapple Express, another ghastly piece of work by David Gordon Green, and it should have put them off.
It is yet another notch of notoriety for writer and lead Danny McBride who also "starred'' in the Pineapple Express as well as the woeful Due Date and so-bad-it-was-offensive Observe and Report.
Before I wrote this, my daughter and her fella asked me what it was about.
Do you know what? I couldn't give them an answer which made any sense.
Essentially, a medieval prince (Franco) is about to marry a pretty young innocent (Deschanel) but a nasty wizard (Justin Theroux) snatches her.
Franco insists his feckless brother (McBride) joins a quest to get her back. Their team is also made up of Young and Lewis who turn out to be rather duplicitous.
Anyway, Franco and McBride get into all sorts of scrapes and on at least one occasion their bacon is saved by a resourceful young wench in the form of Ms Portman.
Blah, blah, blah, blah....
All of the above is meant to be accompanied by rib-tickling ribaldry of a rather saucy nature.
It isn't. In fact, it is one long funless bore which cost an incredible £50m. What a frightening waste of money.
Is it better than Big Mommas 3? Great question. It runs it damned close and gets 2/10.
See where they both appear in the worst films of the year on Sunday.
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