Ok, here's an everyfilm bugbear. Movies which give away the ending at the start. What is that all about.
Anyway, don't worry if you miss the first three minutes of Christian Jimenez's movie - just read the poster.
Yep, as the narrator in the film says: Emilia dies and Julio does not die. And just in case a member of the audience isn't paying attention, he repeats it over and over.
So, that's it. The most interesting aspect of the whole movie is given away at the start.
It may well be that Alejandro Zambra's novel starts like this and Jimenez is just being faithful to the source text. Either way it was irritating.
In fact, it set the tone for a picture which had the distinct ability to make me feel thick.
It is made up of scenes, eight years apart.
The first is when Julio (Diego Noguera) and Emilia (Nathalia Galgani) meet as students, fall in love and share their love of books, music and fun between the sheets.
The second finds Julio living like Walter Mitty, pretending he works with a famous novelist to impress the girl across the corridor of the same apartment block.
In both, there is a lot of quoting from books and parallels made between their lives and a plant or, in particular, a Bonsai.
Geddit? Congratulations, if you did. I didn't.
While, there were aspects of young love I could plug into, the problem was that the two key characters gradually had all of the fun being dragged out of them to the point that....well, you know, it's on the poster.
There are loads of  'clever' imagery and metaphors which were so far over my head they were in the clouds and 'deep' conversations which I, frankly, found a bit dull.
But what do I know? It's recently won best film awards at festivals in Miami and Havana, so it has clearly resonated with some people.
They must be a great deal deeper than me.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: one scene
Nudity: quite a lot
Overall rating: 4/10