Innit, safe, bruv, innit?
It was Friday night in Nottingham Cineworld screen 7 and Mrs W and I are the only people in the audience not wearing a hoodie.
I would guess we were also the only ones who needed a Cockney/Patois phrase book.
What is this bizarre youth language which to those using it makes them sound 'bad' but to the rest of us seems like a bad take-off of Viv Richards?
For the uninitiated Viv was a West Indian cricket hero... a great man, indeed who has a languid way with him and that includes his laid back way of speaking.
Anyway, this is an Adam Deacon film so, inevitably the word 'bruv' is said at least 100 times along with all the other hallmarks of this new lingo.
Deacon was, of course, the winner of this year's Bafta rising star award.
Here he plays one of the country's most promising footballers who also happens to have come from a very tough area of London.
He is, however, finding the join between his exciting new life and the low-life mates from his past a difficult one, particularly when one of his 'friends', a local gang leader, starts asking for big money hand-outs.
I shouldn't dismiss Danny Donnelly's film altogether because I would presume that many young footballers face similar issue's to Deacon's character Jerome.
As the likes of John Terry, Marlon King, Mario Balotelli and many others have shown, sudden wealth cannot erase character traits.
But there are big problems with Payback Season.
Its characters are horribly cliched. Jerome has all of the trappings of a Premier League player but seems to do none of the work - and nobody tells him off for it.
And his gang leader mate and his entourage are straight off the shelf of any urban Brit film made in the last ten years.
And then there's Geoff Hurst. Yes, the Geoff Hurst.
Our national hero plays Jerome's agent and actually has a few lines. They are, sadly, frighteningly stiff and the World Cup hat-trick hero looks frighteningly out of place.
I can't imagine who talked 70-year-old Hurst into it but he really shouldn't have been.
The reality is that Payback Season is Deacon's star vehicle and he isn't at all bad. He has a screen presence which makes me understand why he is so lauded just now.
But he has got to be careful he is not a one-trick pony. He has become known for 'urban' movies which have not even stretched beyond London.
If he wants to make it big then he will have to show greater versatility.
Payback Season is ok but it needed to be more realistic from the football perspective and it is too superficial with regard to the fall-out of gang brutality.
By the way, how old are people before they stop saying 'bruv' and 'innit'. In fashion terms, they make me think of tattoos. Trendy on young people - cringe-inducing on the old.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: none
Nudity: plenty six-packs and girls in their scanties.
Overall rating: 5/10
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