Gulp. Cheese alert. It's a Bollywood rom com.
At some point on my everyfilm voyage (actually it's now less of a voyage and more a way of life), I need to be   instructed in the dark art of enjoying romantic comedy.
As it stands, I tend to find them neither romantic nor funny.
If only my 18-year-old daughter were a typical gooey girl. True, she has seen Dear John an inordinate amount of times but, with her, soppiness has its limits.
And I think her tolerance would have run out long before the end of London Paris New York.
Mind you, it seems that it has even with the most ardent of Bollywood fans. I saw it on Orange Wednesday at Nottingham Cineworld and was one of only eight people there. Its run ends today.
Could it be because Anu Menon's film is as shallow as a puddle?
It surrounds two attractive young folk (Ali Zafar and Aditi Rao Hydari) who meet at Heathrow airport after arriving from Mumbai.
She is a serious student on her way to America while he is just keen on enjoying himself. Nevertheless, they spend 24 hours together and fall for each other.
A couple of years later they spend a similar day in Paris and two years after that they meet in New York.
Bollywood is the land of love at first sight but this predictable melting of hearts is equally foreseeable hurdles which will inevitably involve misunderstandings and an angry father.
The saving grace is that the song and dance routines in London Paris New York are quite fun.
But overall, it is pretty but yawn-inducing.
Laughs: none
Jumps: none
Vomit: one scene but thankfully the blowing of chunks is off screen.
Nudity: none but there is a bedroom scene which is a bit more raunchy than one might expect.
Overall rating: 3.5/10