Not since I heard about Darth Maul charging £10 for an autograph at a public appearance has there been such a rip-off.
George Lucas has made a career out of pressing every last drop of juice out of the Star Wars franchise but surely it cannot go on any more.
Let's face it Star Wars Episode One isn't a patch on any of the original trilogy. Adding 3D makes it no better.
In fact, re-releasing it and then charging for the extra dimensions made me damned well angry.
Why? Well it makes no impact at all. Indeed, the 3D is so weak that for a large amount of time, I took my glasses off and couldn't tell the difference (normally 3D films look horribly blurred without the goggles).
I find watching 3D films very similar to watching Coventry City (my favourite football team).
Every time I turn up, I am hoping that it finally delivers what it promises. Sometimes it's not bad but most of the time I feel ripped off.
For the few that haven't seen the Star Wars prequel, I could put you off by saying it is an intergalactic row about taxes.
As a result, there's a trade blockade, followed by an invasion, some political shenanigans and a bit of verbal and physical jousting.
Ok, there is an alien who speaks in a strange patois, lots of android soldiers and a villain with a red face and horns.
Oh, I nearly forgot the cute kid, who isn't quite so cute as everyone seems to think but is awfully good behind the wheel of space ships.
And, while all this is going on some of our favourite actors (Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Samuel L Jackson) are turned to wood.
In a nutshell it's boring to the point that Mrs W enjoyed at least an hour's shuteye.
I guess it might be my age. A young Twitter follower was telling me that he really liked Episode One. Each to their own.
Laughs: too angry to giggle
Jumps: none
Vomit: the bile was rising
Nudity: C3PO was in the altogether because he was being rebuilt.
Overall rating: 3/10 - marks subtracted for the 3D rip-off.
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